What's on your mind?

i just wish shit could work out for me for once. like actually fucking work out. i get something great & it can crumble to pieces in i don't know how long. it fucking sucks, man. i wanna have a great thing and not have that thing turn into a complete asshole. i wish i didn't get half the shit i get because i'm gonna be honest & say i don't fucking deserve it at all. & i wish so much i could fucking tell him how i feel, because he's a complete douchebag to me and yet i still put up with him. it's bullshit, man. i wish i could have someone who loves me for me, not who i am on the outside, not if i'm a perfect fucking girlfriend or not, none of that. just who i am inside. but that never fucking happens because people are ignorant assholes who only look for certain features in a girl. i really hate it. nothing can ever go right for me. /: i hate this. if we breakup our friendship is gonna completely fucking burn to the ground. i mean he's my best guy friend, yeah how's that gonna work when we break up? just when i thought i found someone amazing he turns out to be an asshole in relationships. just what i fucking need when i already have enough shit on me right now.

i'm so fucking stupid. i should've known and i should've prepared myself and i shouldn't have let myself be so fucking vulnerable to love. but i had to be stupid naive little kelsey and get my heart broken... again. i should've known that when i decided to go out with someone that still loved another girl he'd still continue to flirt with her anyway. i'm just me, why should that make a difference? you know, you're just kind of dating me, it's okay to go ahead and flirt with other girls, yeah it's fine just ignore me. whatever. i'm so done with love. SO done with it. i hate it. i hate relationships i hate fucking everything and everyone.

You're fucking kidding me you asshole. You seriously expect me to just go happily along with this sick game I'm tired of it, and evidently you won't give a fucksauce anyway, will you? Yeah, I give up my dignity for you, what the fuck do you do? OH THAT'S RIGHT! You get a "cover". I make fun of myself like shit so you don't have to do what I did to you, but you can't return that favour can you? Go fuck off and die, bitch, I'd rather at the moment I didn't know you.